life is funny sometimes

I really don't want to go back to work tomorrow. Having the past eight days off from work and school has been very nice. I don't hate the people I work with and I don't hate my job that much I just don't want to work, I am a lazy bitch. I just want to sit in bed all day and watch Gilmore Girls and other TV shows and movies. I probably would be doing a lot better in school if I didn't have to work. I like a boy and I wish I didn't because liking a boy makes my life confusing. I really need to start figuring out what I want to do with school too becasue I honestly don't know what I am doing. I want to date Chris. I wish I could date Chris but I can't because he is not relationship material. I don't think he likes me in that way. Heather and Ty thought he did at one point and maybe he did but I don't think he did or does. I want to move out. I want to have enough money to move out. I want to make more money. I want school to be over. I want to be ahead in school. I want to be able to go to school and not have to work and be able to go to school and see my friends and have a life. I really wish that I was different sometimes and more easy going and care free and more smart and attractive and that guys like me, more specifcally that Chris liked me, why the fuck do I like Chris? I can't even think of a good reason as to why I like him other then he is cute. He smokes cigarettes, I hate people that smoke. Ugh. I hate my brain and my mind and my heart and the thoughts that I think and that some of my friends annoy me, like Sofia. So help me god, if Sofia goes anywhere near Chris or tries to talk to him in any way I don't know what I will do. She can keep her hands off of him, she has gotten enough in her life, she got a kid. lkjadsflaslfkjfjlaskdfjklasjdfkljadfklj
I don't know what that was I was just angry and annoyed that my life is annoying me a lot and I just can't stand it. I feel depressed and alone and I hate it.

crush

I really wish I didn't have a crush on you. You aren't relationship material. You have no job. You are a little unmotivated. But you are cute. You are funny. You are interesting. I like you. I don't know why. I am attracted to you. I don't know why. It is crazy having this feeling of a crush and liking someone. I totally forgot what it is like. The other night when we just talked was nice. Two weeks ago when we kissed was even better as was the rest. I had fun. I liked when you held me and pulled me close. No one has ever done that before. I really wish that you weren't cute. I wish I could get the thought of you out of my mind. I like your smile. I don't like when you smoke, but I think I can get past that. I really wish you were the relationship type. I really think that you like me, but you are just afraid, I am not normally your type. Or maybe I just want to imagine that. Our kness brush and I smile. I really hope that you kind of feel some kind of feeling for me, and if you don't I hope that I can find someone to replace my feelings for you.